Indigo got a kick out of the "inflation" :-)
有个落魄的读书人，家里断粮多日，妻子哭哭啼啼，自己也饿得很难受。忽然想起观音庙里有个铜铸佛像，估摸可以换得几升白米。于是他便爬入庙里，正要伸手拿佛像，又恐神佛会责怪他，于是他便在墙上写了几句诗，才把佛像拿走，这几句诗是：
佛是西天佛，
铜是本地铜。
请佛西天去，
救我一时穷！
There was once a very poor student, and he had run out of food for quite some time now,
his wife cried all day, and he himself was also quite hungry. He then suddenly remembered that the Goddess of Mercy's temple had a copper statue of a god, selling it could earn himself a ton of rice, and so he crawled into the temple, he was just about to take it, and thought the gods would punish him, so he wrote a poem on the temple walls, and took the statue of the god and left. The poem went like this:
Gods are the Gods of the west,
Copper is our copper,
God, please go back to the west,
and save me from inflation!
Update on Nov. 17, 2007
There was once a very poor student, and he had run out of food for quite some time now,
his wife cried all day, and he himself was also quite hungry. He then suddenly remembered that the Goddess of Mercy's temple had a copper statue of a god, selling it could earn himself a ton of rice. and so he crawled into the temple, he was just about to take it, and was afraid that the Buddha would punish him, so he wrote a poem on the temple walls, and took the statue of the Buddha and left. The poem went like this:
Buddha is the Buddha of the west,
Copper is our copper,
Buddha, please go back to the west,
and save me from inflation!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Dumb ass 蠢驴
两个朋友之间的对话：“你这头蠢驴。” “我可能真是头蠢驴……问题仅仅在于：究竟因为我是你的朋友我才是头蠢驴呢，还是由于我是头蠢驴，我才成了你的朋友？”
The conversation between two friends: "You're such a dumb ass." "Of course I'm a dumbass...the question is, am I a dumbass because I'm your friend, or is it that I'm just a plain ol' jackass, so I became your friend?"
The conversation between two friends: "You're such a dumb ass." "Of course I'm a dumbass...the question is, am I a dumbass because I'm your friend, or is it that I'm just a plain ol' jackass, so I became your friend?"
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The golf ball is a safer place
Indigo liked it.
高尔夫球手挥杆一击，球落在蚁丘上，他走过去再大力一挥，没击中球，却打死许多蚂蚁。他再挥杆，还是没有打到球，这次打死更多的蚂蚁。一只蚂蚁见状，对惊慌失措的同伴说：“走！快跟我来！只要我们爬到球上，我们就会没事的！”
A big burly man swung his golf club on to the golf ball, the ball landed on an anthill, he walked over and swung the club with all his might, but the club didn't hit the ball, but killed a lot of ants. He swung his gold ball again, and still didn't hit the ball, and killed even more ants. One ant saw this, and said to his flustered ant pals, "Let's go! Follow me! if we climb on top of the ball, we'll be safe!" The smile when you tore me apart.
For some reason, she wrote down the lyrics from a song
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
高尔夫球手挥杆一击，球落在蚁丘上，他走过去再大力一挥，没击中球，却打死许多蚂蚁。他再挥杆，还是没有打到球，这次打死更多的蚂蚁。一只蚂蚁见状，对惊慌失措的同伴说：“走！快跟我来！只要我们爬到球上，我们就会没事的！”
A big burly man swung his golf club on to the golf ball, the ball landed on an anthill, he walked over and swung the club with all his might, but the club didn't hit the ball, but killed a lot of ants. He swung his gold ball again, and still didn't hit the ball, and killed even more ants. One ant saw this, and said to his flustered ant pals, "Let's go! Follow me! if we climb on top of the ball, we'll be safe!" The smile when you tore me apart.
For some reason, she wrote down the lyrics from a song
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Wanna fish or fishing rod? Or maybe both!
It's a long one and it is not a joke. It took Indigo a couple of days to finish it, and she found the "cheese". Did you find it?
从前，有两个饥饿的人得到了一位长者的恩赐：一根鱼竿和一篓鲜活硕大的鱼。其中，一个人要了一篓鱼，另一个人要了一根鱼竿，于是他们分道扬镳了。得到鱼的人原地就用干柴搭起篝火煮起了鱼，他狼吞虎咽，还没有品出鲜鱼的肉香，转瞬间，连鱼带汤就被他吃了个精光，不久，他便饿死在空空的鱼篓旁。另一个人则提着鱼竿继续忍饥挨饿，一步步艰难地向海边走去，可当他已经看到不远处那片蔚蓝色的海洋时，他浑身的最后一点力气也使完了，他也只能眼巴巴地带着无尽的遗憾撒手人间。
又有两个饥饿的人，他们同样得到了长者恩赐的一根鱼竿和一篓鱼。只是他们并没有各奔东西，而是商定共同去找寻大海，他俩每次只煮一条鱼，他们经过遥远的跋涉，来到了海边，从此，两人开始了捕鱼为生的日子，几年后，他们盖起了房子，有了各自的家庭、子女，有了自己建造的渔船，过上了幸福安康的生活。
一个人只顾眼前的利益，得到的终将是短暂的欢愉；一个人目标高远，但也要面对现实的生活。只有把理想和现实有机结合起来，才有可能成为一个成功之人。有时候，一个简单的道理，却足以给人意味深长的生命启示。
Once upon a time, there were two extremely famished people who were bestowed with a fishing rod and a bucketful of fresh fish from an old man. Among those, one person wanted one bucket of fish, the other wanted to fishing rod,and so, they parted ways. The person who got the fish started a fire and started cooking the fish, he devoured it ravenously, and didn't even register the taste of fresh cooked fish, in a flash even the fish soup had been consumed by him, shortly after, he died of hunger right next to the fish basket. The other dude carried his fishing rod and suppressed his growing hunger, and step by step started toward the ocean, but once he glimpsed the sparkling blue ocean water, he had used up all the energy in his body, he could only regretfully let go of his connection to the living world. (in otherwords, he died.)
There was another pair of starving people,they also received an old man's fishing rod and a bucket of fish, but they didn't go seperate paths, they both decided to go to the ocean together. Both of them only cooked two fish each time, it took them a lot of effort to walk long distances, but once they got to the ocean's edge, thereafter, they both lived on fishing, a few years later,t hey made a house, and each started their own family, had sons and daughters, and made their own home-crafted fishing boat,a nd lived very happy and healthy lives. Each person paid attention to their own profits, in the end, they lived happily ever after.
One person had a very high goal, but also had to face reality. If you put imagination and reality together, that's when you can become an accomplished person. Sometimes,a simple philosophy, can reveal a deep meaning to the word: cheese.
从前，有两个饥饿的人得到了一位长者的恩赐：一根鱼竿和一篓鲜活硕大的鱼。其中，一个人要了一篓鱼，另一个人要了一根鱼竿，于是他们分道扬镳了。得到鱼的人原地就用干柴搭起篝火煮起了鱼，他狼吞虎咽，还没有品出鲜鱼的肉香，转瞬间，连鱼带汤就被他吃了个精光，不久，他便饿死在空空的鱼篓旁。另一个人则提着鱼竿继续忍饥挨饿，一步步艰难地向海边走去，可当他已经看到不远处那片蔚蓝色的海洋时，他浑身的最后一点力气也使完了，他也只能眼巴巴地带着无尽的遗憾撒手人间。
又有两个饥饿的人，他们同样得到了长者恩赐的一根鱼竿和一篓鱼。只是他们并没有各奔东西，而是商定共同去找寻大海，他俩每次只煮一条鱼，他们经过遥远的跋涉，来到了海边，从此，两人开始了捕鱼为生的日子，几年后，他们盖起了房子，有了各自的家庭、子女，有了自己建造的渔船，过上了幸福安康的生活。
一个人只顾眼前的利益，得到的终将是短暂的欢愉；一个人目标高远，但也要面对现实的生活。只有把理想和现实有机结合起来，才有可能成为一个成功之人。有时候，一个简单的道理，却足以给人意味深长的生命启示。
Once upon a time, there were two extremely famished people who were bestowed with a fishing rod and a bucketful of fresh fish from an old man. Among those, one person wanted one bucket of fish, the other wanted to fishing rod,and so, they parted ways. The person who got the fish started a fire and started cooking the fish, he devoured it ravenously, and didn't even register the taste of fresh cooked fish, in a flash even the fish soup had been consumed by him, shortly after, he died of hunger right next to the fish basket. The other dude carried his fishing rod and suppressed his growing hunger, and step by step started toward the ocean, but once he glimpsed the sparkling blue ocean water, he had used up all the energy in his body, he could only regretfully let go of his connection to the living world. (in otherwords, he died.)
There was another pair of starving people,they also received an old man's fishing rod and a bucket of fish, but they didn't go seperate paths, they both decided to go to the ocean together. Both of them only cooked two fish each time, it took them a lot of effort to walk long distances, but once they got to the ocean's edge, thereafter, they both lived on fishing, a few years later,t hey made a house, and each started their own family, had sons and daughters, and made their own home-crafted fishing boat,a nd lived very happy and healthy lives. Each person paid attention to their own profits, in the end, they lived happily ever after.
One person had a very high goal, but also had to face reality. If you put imagination and reality together, that's when you can become an accomplished person. Sometimes,a simple philosophy, can reveal a deep meaning to the word: cheese.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Laying off? 自 and 目
These one liners are more like a puzzle for new Chinese learners.
“自”对“目”说：你单位裁员了？
Zi (自) to Mu (目): Your company's laying off some people, eh?
I would say something like LOL:
Zi (自) to Mu (目): are you getting bald?
or
Zi (自) to Mu (目): You look weird with your eyebrows shaved?
“自”对“目”说：你单位裁员了？
Zi (自) to Mu (目): Your company's laying off some people, eh?
I would say something like LOL:
Zi (自) to Mu (目): are you getting bald?
or
Zi (自) to Mu (目): You look weird with your eyebrows shaved?
Straw hat.. 莤 and 晒
These jokes are so dumb, they are funny.
“莤”对“晒”说：出太阳了，咋不戴顶草帽？
You (莤) to Shai (晒): The sun's out, why don't you wear a straw hat?
“莤”对“晒”说：出太阳了，咋不戴顶草帽？
You (莤) to Shai (晒): The sun's out, why don't you wear a straw hat?
Got a plastic surgery? 叉 and 又
I wonder what "You" will say to "Cha" :-)
“叉”对“又”说：什么时候整的容啊？脸上那颗痣呢？
Cha (叉) to You (又): When'd you get plastic surgery? Your beauty zit is gone!
“叉”对“又”说：什么时候整的容啊？脸上那颗痣呢？
Cha (叉) to You (又): When'd you get plastic surgery? Your beauty zit is gone!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Where are other books?
Hmmm, how do you translate 讨好? Is it to flatter or to please with some selfish reasons?
一位知名作家到一座小城市去旅游。这座小城市里唯一的一家书店的经理为了讨好这位作家，就撤下了书架上其他书籍，全部换上了这位作家的作品。来到书店后，这位作家看到这种情况，非常困惑不解的问书店的经理:其他作家的书呢？ 书店经理一时答不上来，想了想才说：“其他的书都卖光了！”
A well known author went on a vacation to a small city. The manager of the city's only bookstore was fawning over the author, so he removed all the books from his store,and filled the store with the author's books. After arriving at the bookstore, the author saw all his written works, was very puzzled and he asked the manager, "Where are all the other books?" The store manager couldn't reply at once, so he thought about it then said, "The rest of the books are all sold out!"
一位知名作家到一座小城市去旅游。这座小城市里唯一的一家书店的经理为了讨好这位作家，就撤下了书架上其他书籍，全部换上了这位作家的作品。来到书店后，这位作家看到这种情况，非常困惑不解的问书店的经理:其他作家的书呢？ 书店经理一时答不上来，想了想才说：“其他的书都卖光了！”
A well known author went on a vacation to a small city. The manager of the city's only bookstore was fawning over the author, so he removed all the books from his store,and filled the store with the author's books. After arriving at the bookstore, the author saw all his written works, was very puzzled and he asked the manager, "Where are all the other books?" The store manager couldn't reply at once, so he thought about it then said, "The rest of the books are all sold out!"
Monday, October 22, 2007
What a character? 个 and 人
Looks like that Indigo didn't quite grasp the meaning. It's really meant "I can hardly walk without a cane".
“个”对“人”说：不比你们年轻了，没根手杖几乎寸步难行。
Ge (个) to Ren (人): I'm not gonna compete with you youngsters, every step I take with a walking stick is so hard to do.
“个”对“人”说：不比你们年轻了，没根手杖几乎寸步难行。
Ge (个) to Ren (人): I'm not gonna compete with you youngsters, every step I take with a walking stick is so hard to do.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
What a character? 旦and 但
Hmmm, I wonder where the bodyguard is?
“旦”对“但”说：胆小的，还请保镖了？
Dan (旦) to Dan (但): Hey, wimp, you need to hire a bodyguard?
“旦”对“但”说：胆小的，还请保镖了？
Dan (旦) to Dan (但): Hey, wimp, you need to hire a bodyguard?
Tooth ache
Is 牙病 tooth ache or tooth disease?
妻子患了牙病，疼得特别厉害，痛苦的声音传到隔壁邻居那里，邻居也感到揪心。邻居问她丈夫：“你妻子的牙痛已经好几天了，你得想想办法呀！” “我想了啊！”丈夫回答，“这几天我一直用棉球塞住耳朵。”
The wife came down with a tooth disease, and her teeth hurt like hell, all day, you could hear her pitiful moans laced with pain and agony that eventually, her neighbor heard, and her neighbor started to feel sad. "Your wife's disease has already been going on for several days now!" the neighbor told the husband. "You have to think of a plan (to cure it)!" "Of course I tried to think!" the husband retorted indignantly, "I've stuffing my ears with cottonballs all this time and still nothing worked!"
妻子患了牙病，疼得特别厉害，痛苦的声音传到隔壁邻居那里，邻居也感到揪心。邻居问她丈夫：“你妻子的牙痛已经好几天了，你得想想办法呀！” “我想了啊！”丈夫回答，“这几天我一直用棉球塞住耳朵。”
The wife came down with a tooth disease, and her teeth hurt like hell, all day, you could hear her pitiful moans laced with pain and agony that eventually, her neighbor heard, and her neighbor started to feel sad. "Your wife's disease has already been going on for several days now!" the neighbor told the husband. "You have to think of a plan (to cure it)!" "Of course I tried to think!" the husband retorted indignantly, "I've stuffing my ears with cottonballs all this time and still nothing worked!"
Memory Lane
Memory Lane
Indigo
A blur of gold
a blur of red
a hazy memory
as I lie on my bed
summer before
winter noons
spring with flowers
autumn moons
oh can you hear
can you see?
the distant thought
deep inside of me
Streaks of color flying past
long forgotten in the wind
have come back to you
but what can they say? how can they reprimand?
A blur of gold
a blur of red
a hazy memory
as I lie on my bed
a distant thought
long forgotten in the wind
Indigo
A blur of gold
a blur of red
a hazy memory
as I lie on my bed
summer before
winter noons
spring with flowers
autumn moons
oh can you hear
can you see?
the distant thought
deep inside of me
Streaks of color flying past
long forgotten in the wind
have come back to you
but what can they say? how can they reprimand?
A blur of gold
a blur of red
a hazy memory
as I lie on my bed
a distant thought
long forgotten in the wind
Friday, October 19, 2007
Holy Mother!
In what situations, do you hear the Chinese say "oh my mother 我的妈呀"?
从前有一匹马，只要对它说:我的妈呀！它会以一秒千里的速度飞奔，但只要你对它说一声:我的天呀！它会骤然停下。一个商人看上了这匹马，便买了下来。他说了一句:我的妈呀！那匹马飞一般跑了起来，果然飞奔如野。没多久，他们便驶入了距城中心30多公里的丛山中。商人忽见前方有一悬崖绝壁，立想停住这千里马，但忘记了使马停住的口令，我的地呀！我的祖宗呀！，就是忘了我的天呀！在千钧一发之际，他终于说出了:我的天呀！马在离掉落只剩几厘米处停下了。商人叹了口气，感慨地说了声:我的妈呀！...
Once upon a time, there was a horse, and if you told him, "Holy Mother!" he would run at the speed of light, and if you told him, "Holy Cow!" he would halt just as fast as he ran. A merchant saw this horse one day and took a liking to it, and bought him (for only ten million dollars to boot). "Holy Mother!" the merchant exclaimed, and the horse immediatley started to break into a gallop, and he really was worthy of a wild rabid beast. A few moments later, they were a well good distance away from the city and at least 30 kilometers into the mountains. Suddenly, the ledge of a cliff came into the merchant's peripheral view, and he knew he needed to stop the horse, but, had forgotten what the command was (oh crud), "Holy Nature! Holy Ancestors!" He said about everything that began with 'holy' (yes, what a potty mouth!), but Holy Cow. And just when his life was flashing right before his eyes (a pretty wife, four children, and living to a ripe old age), he finally shouted, "Holy Cow!" The horse abruptly came to a halt just inches away from the edge of the cliff. The merchant let out his breath, not realizing he was holding it and his face was turning blue,"Holy Mother!" he exclaimed in relief.
从前有一匹马，只要对它说:我的妈呀！它会以一秒千里的速度飞奔，但只要你对它说一声:我的天呀！它会骤然停下。一个商人看上了这匹马，便买了下来。他说了一句:我的妈呀！那匹马飞一般跑了起来，果然飞奔如野。没多久，他们便驶入了距城中心30多公里的丛山中。商人忽见前方有一悬崖绝壁，立想停住这千里马，但忘记了使马停住的口令，我的地呀！我的祖宗呀！，就是忘了我的天呀！在千钧一发之际，他终于说出了:我的天呀！马在离掉落只剩几厘米处停下了。商人叹了口气，感慨地说了声:我的妈呀！...
Once upon a time, there was a horse, and if you told him, "Holy Mother!" he would run at the speed of light, and if you told him, "Holy Cow!" he would halt just as fast as he ran. A merchant saw this horse one day and took a liking to it, and bought him (for only ten million dollars to boot). "Holy Mother!" the merchant exclaimed, and the horse immediatley started to break into a gallop, and he really was worthy of a wild rabid beast. A few moments later, they were a well good distance away from the city and at least 30 kilometers into the mountains. Suddenly, the ledge of a cliff came into the merchant's peripheral view, and he knew he needed to stop the horse, but, had forgotten what the command was (oh crud), "Holy Nature! Holy Ancestors!" He said about everything that began with 'holy' (yes, what a potty mouth!), but Holy Cow. And just when his life was flashing right before his eyes (a pretty wife, four children, and living to a ripe old age), he finally shouted, "Holy Cow!" The horse abruptly came to a halt just inches away from the edge of the cliff. The merchant let out his breath, not realizing he was holding it and his face was turning blue,"Holy Mother!" he exclaimed in relief.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
On diet? “日 and 曰
It's so subtle, it tickles my funny bone.
“日”对“曰”说：该减肥了吧？
Ri (日) to Yue (曰): Isn't it time to go on a diet?
“日”对“曰”说：该减肥了吧？
Ri (日) to Yue (曰): Isn't it time to go on a diet?
Braggadocio
It's a pretty lame joke. Do you get it? I'm not sure that Indigo got it, but she translated it to the T.
女演员甲向女演员乙吹嘘自己名气如何如何大：“我一登台，观众一齐把嘴张开来了。” 没想到乙立刻瞪大了眼睛说：“胡说！怎么会大家同时打呵欠？”
"When I go up on stage," Actor Jia boasted to Actor Yi,the audience will open their mouths at the same time." Who would have thought that Yi would suddenly open her eyes wide and say,"Liar! how can everyone yawn at the same time?"
女演员甲向女演员乙吹嘘自己名气如何如何大：“我一登台，观众一齐把嘴张开来了。” 没想到乙立刻瞪大了眼睛说：“胡说！怎么会大家同时打呵欠？”
"When I go up on stage," Actor Jia boasted to Actor Yi,the audience will open their mouths at the same time." Who would have thought that Yi would suddenly open her eyes wide and say,"Liar! how can everyone yawn at the same time?"
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
What a character? 寸 and 过
It cracks me up that 过 is a couch + 寸.
“寸”对“过”说：老爷子，买躺椅子啊？
Cun (寸) to Guo (过): Old Gramps,did you buy a couch?"
“寸”对“过”说：老爷子，买躺椅子啊？
Cun (寸) to Guo (过): Old Gramps,did you buy a couch?"
What a character? 由 and 甲
We are going to have some fun with characters. Open your eyes and use your imagination :-). You can see that the Chinese language is a pretty lazy language, you don't see subjects most of the time in conversations.
“由”对“甲”说：这样练一指禅挺累吧？
You (由) to Jia (甲): It's gotta be pretty tiring doing a one finger stand, huh!
“由”对“甲”说：这样练一指禅挺累吧？
You (由) to Jia (甲): It's gotta be pretty tiring doing a one finger stand, huh!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
A tasteless joke?
警察：“你怎么可以站在这里小便？”
小明：“我又不是女的，难道要我蹲着小便？”
Police: "why the heck are you standing there peeing?"
Little Ming: "Hey, I'm not a girl, do you want me to squat down peeing?"
小明：“我又不是女的，难道要我蹲着小便？”
Police: "why the heck are you standing there peeing?"
Little Ming: "Hey, I'm not a girl, do you want me to squat down peeing?"
Monday, October 15, 2007
Beautiful Mother
Is this funny?
一个妈妈生了一个女孩取名美丽。别人问她，为何要取这么俗的名字。那个妈妈回答说："这样，别人才会叫我美丽的妈妈呀!"
A mother gave birth to a daughter named Beautiful. Other people ask her, why do you name her so? The mother replied, "This way, other people will call me beautiful mother!"
一个妈妈生了一个女孩取名美丽。别人问她，为何要取这么俗的名字。那个妈妈回答说："这样，别人才会叫我美丽的妈妈呀!"
A mother gave birth to a daughter named Beautiful. Other people ask her, why do you name her so? The mother replied, "This way, other people will call me beautiful mother!"
Who? Tiger? Master? (tongue twister)
大虎子和小虎子，
走进卖斧子的铺子买斧子。
大虎子向胡师傅买大斧子，
胡师傅把大斧子错听成小斧子，
拿了把小斧子给大虎子；
小虎子向胡师傅买小斧子，
胡师傅把小斧子错听成大斧子，
拿了把大斧子给小虎子。
大虎子不要小斧子要大斧子，
胡师傅把给小虎子的大斧子换给大虎子；
小虎子不要大斧子要小斧子，
胡师傅把给大虎子的小斧子换给小虎子。
大虎子接过胡师傅的大斧子付钱买下大斧子，
小虎子接过胡师傅的小斧子付钱买下小斧子。
大小两个虎子拿着大小两把斧子走出卖斧子的铺子，
大虎子左手拿着大斧子右手搀着小虎子，
小虎子右手拿着小斧子左手拉着大虎子。
Big Tiger (BT) and Little Tiger (LT), walked into an axe-selling shop to buy axes.
BT told Master Hu (MH) that he wanted a big axe,
MH heard big axe as little axe, and gave a little axe to BT;
LT told MH that he wanted a little axe,
but MH heard little axe as big axe,and gave a big axe to LT.
BT didn't want a little axe he wanted a big axe,
MH gave the big axe he gave LT to BT;
LT didn't want the big axe he wanted the little axe,
MH gave the little axe that he gave BT to LT.
BT received the big axe from MH and paid for it,
LT received the little axe from MH and paid for it.
Big and Little Tiger got the big and little axes and walked out of the axe-shop,
BT held the big axe in his left paw and held LT's paw in the other,
LT held the little axe in his right paw and held BT's paw in the other.
And they both lived happily ever after...that is, until they got indigestion from eating a great white shark, but...that's another story...
走进卖斧子的铺子买斧子。
大虎子向胡师傅买大斧子，
胡师傅把大斧子错听成小斧子，
拿了把小斧子给大虎子；
小虎子向胡师傅买小斧子，
胡师傅把小斧子错听成大斧子，
拿了把大斧子给小虎子。
大虎子不要小斧子要大斧子，
胡师傅把给小虎子的大斧子换给大虎子；
小虎子不要大斧子要小斧子，
胡师傅把给大虎子的小斧子换给小虎子。
大虎子接过胡师傅的大斧子付钱买下大斧子，
小虎子接过胡师傅的小斧子付钱买下小斧子。
大小两个虎子拿着大小两把斧子走出卖斧子的铺子，
大虎子左手拿着大斧子右手搀着小虎子，
小虎子右手拿着小斧子左手拉着大虎子。
Big Tiger (BT) and Little Tiger (LT), walked into an axe-selling shop to buy axes.
BT told Master Hu (MH) that he wanted a big axe,
MH heard big axe as little axe, and gave a little axe to BT;
LT told MH that he wanted a little axe,
but MH heard little axe as big axe,and gave a big axe to LT.
BT didn't want a little axe he wanted a big axe,
MH gave the big axe he gave LT to BT;
LT didn't want the big axe he wanted the little axe,
MH gave the little axe that he gave BT to LT.
BT received the big axe from MH and paid for it,
LT received the little axe from MH and paid for it.
Big and Little Tiger got the big and little axes and walked out of the axe-shop,
BT held the big axe in his left paw and held LT's paw in the other,
LT held the little axe in his right paw and held BT's paw in the other.
And they both lived happily ever after...that is, until they got indigestion from eating a great white shark, but...that's another story...
Friday, October 12, 2007
Write your last name upside down?
Why is it an insult to the Chinese if you write their last names upside down? Is it the same as writing them backward in English? It's so unfair, some people have advantages than others!
看台上，两个素不相识的球迷争了起来。
“甲队准赢。我说错了，就把我的姓倒写！”
“甲队准输。否则，把我的姓倒写！”
“你贵姓？”
“姓田。你呢？”
“姓王。”
On the stadium, two complete strangers who were both soccer fans got into an argument.
"Team Jia will win, if I'm wrong, I'll write my name backwards!"
"Team Jia will lose, or else, I'll write my last name backwards!"
"What's your last name?"
"Tian, and yours?"
"Wang."
"..."
看台上，两个素不相识的球迷争了起来。
“甲队准赢。我说错了，就把我的姓倒写！”
“甲队准输。否则，把我的姓倒写！”
“你贵姓？”
“姓田。你呢？”
“姓王。”
On the stadium, two complete strangers who were both soccer fans got into an argument.
"Team Jia will win, if I'm wrong, I'll write my name backwards!"
"Team Jia will lose, or else, I'll write my last name backwards!"
"What's your last name?"
"Tian, and yours?"
"Wang."
"..."
Friday, October 5, 2007
Is the patient a sick person?
Indigo understood every word and every sentence of the joke, but it took a long time to understand why it was worth a chuckle or two. Why the "sick person" calls the nurse a "honeypie"? By the third time I explained to her why it was so. She said this joke was sick, hence she translated "病人" as a "sick person".
护士 看到 一 病人 在 病房 喝酒，就 走 过去 小声地 对 他 说:“不要 喝酒，小心 肝!”病人 微笑着 说：“那 就 不 喝 了，小 宝贝。”
The nurse saw a patient drinking beer in the hospital room, so she walked over to him and whispered, "Don't drink beer, be careful of your liver!" The sick person chuckled, thinking the nurse had said, "Sweety" and said (hey, what did you expect? he's drunk!), "Then I won't drink it any more, honeypie."
护士 看到 一 病人 在 病房 喝酒，就 走 过去 小声地 对 他 说:“不要 喝酒，小心 肝!”病人 微笑着 说：“那 就 不 喝 了，小 宝贝。”
The nurse saw a patient drinking beer in the hospital room, so she walked over to him and whispered, "Don't drink beer, be careful of your liver!" The sick person chuckled, thinking the nurse had said, "Sweety" and said (hey, what did you expect? he's drunk!), "Then I won't drink it any more, honeypie."
I don't get it!
I got some feedbacks from a few good friends that their kids couldn't understand some the jokes here. Amen, say no more, brothers and sisters!
As I told you before that Indigo complained that many of these jokes were really lame. Most of the time, I got a some what blank stare "I don't get it!". She could understand each sentence or the whole joke, but she couldn't understand where the funny part was or why it was funny. It's frustrating to explain left and right why it is funny, still she doesn't laugh. Oh forget it, you'll get a laugh from her just by tickling her ;-).
You don't need a scientific study to conclude that there's a culture gap between a generation of foreign born parents and their America-born children. Some people call it intuition, some people call it a hunch. Darnit, these kids just don't think many of the jokes that we, or the people in the old country normally consider funny, are funny. Why?! Could it be that these kids are fed on American milk, which washes away any of their ancestry humor genes? Or could it be that the kids don't talk with each other or to their parents for that matter in Chinese and so they become deficient in Chinese humor? Maybe we should feed them some vitamin Zh!
Please take a poll, be the first one to take the poll! Forward this poll to your friends!
As I told you before that Indigo complained that many of these jokes were really lame. Most of the time, I got a some what blank stare "I don't get it!". She could understand each sentence or the whole joke, but she couldn't understand where the funny part was or why it was funny. It's frustrating to explain left and right why it is funny, still she doesn't laugh. Oh forget it, you'll get a laugh from her just by tickling her ;-).
You don't need a scientific study to conclude that there's a culture gap between a generation of foreign born parents and their America-born children. Some people call it intuition, some people call it a hunch. Darnit, these kids just don't think many of the jokes that we, or the people in the old country normally consider funny, are funny. Why?! Could it be that these kids are fed on American milk, which washes away any of their ancestry humor genes? Or could it be that the kids don't talk with each other or to their parents for that matter in Chinese and so they become deficient in Chinese humor? Maybe we should feed them some vitamin Zh!
Please take a poll, be the first one to take the poll! Forward this poll to your friends!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Family? Is it "give away for free" or "deliver for free"?
Ok, this is a follow up post on a previous topic. Indigo now knows that "一家 something" is not necessarily meant "a family". In many a case, it's just like a "A" or "One".
I remembered that when I was little, my father used to talk with his friends about "我们家..." and "你们家...". It confused the hack out of me, it was actually meant "our company (or factory or...)" and "your company". You can still hear people talking this way.
一家 房地产 商 为 推销 房屋，打出“买 房子，送 家具”的 广告。某人 买 了一套 新房，装饰 后 去 领 家具。房产商："你的 家具 在 哪里？我们 帮 你 送！"
A real estate business wanted to sell houses, so they put up a sign that read, "Buy Houses, Give Away Funiture." Da Man (thought he was dead? nah, he was stuck in a squirrel tree for a couple of weeks, pretending to be an acorn) bought a house, and after decorating his house with an acorn theme, went to get the furniture. Entrepreneur: "where is your furniture? We'll help you send 'em over!"
I remembered that when I was little, my father used to talk with his friends about "我们家..." and "你们家...". It confused the hack out of me, it was actually meant "our company (or factory or...)" and "your company". You can still hear people talking this way.
一家 房地产 商 为 推销 房屋，打出“买 房子，送 家具”的 广告。某人 买 了一套 新房，装饰 后 去 领 家具。房产商："你的 家具 在 哪里？我们 帮 你 送！"
A real estate business wanted to sell houses, so they put up a sign that read, "Buy Houses, Give Away Funiture." Da Man (thought he was dead? nah, he was stuck in a squirrel tree for a couple of weeks, pretending to be an acorn) bought a house, and after decorating his house with an acorn theme, went to get the furniture. Entrepreneur: "where is your furniture? We'll help you send 'em over!"
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
A tongue twister (王, 网, 匡, 筐)
It's a nice litle tongue twister for 王(wang2), 网(wang3), 匡(kuang1), 筐(kuang1). You gotta hear Indigo's voice recording, she nailed every one of them on the 3rd try ;-).
王庄 卖 筐，
匡庄 卖 网，
王庄 卖 筐 不 卖 网，
匡庄 卖 网 不 卖 筐，
你要 买 筐 别 去 匡庄 去 王庄，
你要 买 网 别 去 王庄 去 匡庄。
Wang village sells baskets (kuang1),
Kuang village sells nets (wang3),
Wang village sells baskets, not nets,
Kuang village sells nets not baskets,
If ya wanna buy baskets, don't go to Kuang village, go to Wang village,
If ya wanna buy nets, don't go to Wang village, go to Kuang village.
王庄 卖 筐，
匡庄 卖 网，
王庄 卖 筐 不 卖 网，
匡庄 卖 网 不 卖 筐，
你要 买 筐 别 去 匡庄 去 王庄，
你要 买 网 别 去 王庄 去 匡庄。
Wang village sells baskets (kuang1),
Kuang village sells nets (wang3),
Wang village sells baskets, not nets,
Kuang village sells nets not baskets,
If ya wanna buy baskets, don't go to Kuang village, go to Wang village,
If ya wanna buy nets, don't go to Wang village, go to Kuang village.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Go to school
I'll start to use the segmentation provided by the software. It is one of the most useful feature so the kids can easily group phrases together to better comprehend Chinese text. With onscreen dictionary, they grasp the meaning quickly. Indigo translates it pretty fast. Does she get it? Well, she doesn't understand why all the teachers dislike Da Man! Sure, she understands why the kids hate him ;-)
母亲 在 清晨 催 儿子 起床 去 学校。“我 不去，因为 有 两个 理由，孩子们 恨 我，老师们 也 讨厌 我。”儿子 说。母亲 说：“我 告诉 你 为什么 应当 去 学校 的 两个 理由。第一,你 已经 四十五岁 了。第二, 你 是 校长。
One morning, a mother was urging her son to hurry up and go to school. "I DON'T WANNA GO!! and here are two reasons, all the kids hate me, the teachers also dislike me!" the son protested. "Well, here are two reasons why you should go to school," his mother said. "First of all, you're already 45 years old. Lastly, you're the principal."
母亲 在 清晨 催 儿子 起床 去 学校。“我 不去，因为 有 两个 理由，孩子们 恨 我，老师们 也 讨厌 我。”儿子 说。母亲 说：“我 告诉 你 为什么 应当 去 学校 的 两个 理由。第一,你 已经 四十五岁 了。第二, 你 是 校长。
One morning, a mother was urging her son to hurry up and go to school. "I DON'T WANNA GO!! and here are two reasons, all the kids hate me, the teachers also dislike me!" the son protested. "Well, here are two reasons why you should go to school," his mother said. "First of all, you're already 45 years old. Lastly, you're the principal."
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