The legend of Pan Gu

Ok, this is not a joke. It's a Chinese version of how the world was created.

These days youngsters don't pay a great deal of respect of the legend. In her translation, Indigo actually questioned the validity of the legend and kind of made fun of some parts of the legendary story. Sigh!

最初，宇宙 是 一团 混沌的 气体，像 一个 巨大的 鸡蛋。这个 鸡蛋 的 中心 孕育着 一个 天神，他的 名字 叫 盘古。

盘古 在 鸡蛋-中 昏昏沉沉地 睡了 一万 八千 年，终于 有 一天 醒了 过来。他 看见 周围 是 漆黑的 一片，感到 十分 烦闷，就 挥动 手中 的 斧子，打破了 鸡蛋。于是 鸡蛋 中 轻的 物质 慢慢 上升，变成了 蓝色的 天空，鸡蛋 中 重的 物质 就 慢慢 沉下去，成为 一片 大地。

为了 不 让 天 和 地 重新 合并，盘古 用 他的 双手 托住了 天空。天空 渐渐 升高，盘古 的 身体 也 随着 长高。又 过了 一万 八千 年，盘古 的 身体 长到了 九万 里 高。

他 感到 天 和 地 再 也 不会 合并了，并且 自己 也 很累 了，于是 倒下来 死去了。他的 呼吸 变成了 风 和 云，他的 声音 变成了 雷，他的 左眼 变成了 太阳，右眼 变成了 月亮，身体 变成了 山，毛发 变成了 森林、花草，血液 变成了 河流，牙齿 和 骨头 变成了 石头 和 矿物，汗水 变成了 雨水 和 露水。盘古 的 死 换来了 一个 美丽的 世界。

In the beginning, the universe was just a swirling pile of gases, (P.U.!) and was like a very big egg. Inside this egg lived a god, called Pan Gu. Pan Gu slept deeply in the egg for 18,000 years, and finally woke up one day. He looked 'round at his surroundings only to find pitch-black blackness, and felt very bored and irratated indeed, so he waved his ax wildly around his head shouting the Mongol war-cry, and sliced the egg open. (where he got the ax is beyond me) And so the gases in the egg slowly rose up in the inky air, and turned in to the blue sky we now know today, and the more opaque-y-ish substances slowly sank down, and became a piece 'a land. and because he didn't want the earth and sky to merge together again, Pan Gu held up the sky with both hands. (now answer me this: how the hell is he suppose to hold up something that's entirely made out of gases?!?!) The sky slowly crept upwards, and Pan Gu's body stretched upwards as well. Another 18,000 years past, (how time flies!) Pan Gu's body was now 90,000 meters long. and he felt that the earth and the sky would never merge together now, but he also felt very tired, and fell down dead. His breath became the wind and the clouds, his voice became thunder, his left eye was now the sun, his right eye the moon, his body turned into mountains, his hair forests and flowers, his blood became rivers, his teeth and bones became rocks and minerals, and his sweat turned into rain and dew. And so, because Pan Gu died, we have a beautiful world. (so you're saying that if someone dies then the world would be a better place? sweeeeet...)