某人有失眠的困扰而求助于医生…。医生问：没有试著数羊吗？病人回答：当然有，当我数到五千六百四十八只的时候，刚好天亮…。
Da Man had sleep problems which he consulted the doctor for.the doctor asked: Did you try counting sheep?Da Man replied: Of course I have,and when I counted to 5,648 sheep,the sun had just risen...
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Lose weight
医师对胖子说如果他每天跑八英里，连续跑三百天，就能减肥34公斤．三百天后，医师接到胖子的电话，说他已减了那么多体重，但他也因此添了个难题。“什么难题？”医师问。“我现已离家两千四百英里了。”
The docter told a fat dude that if he ran 8 miles everyday,and ran for 300 days straight,he would lose 34 kilograms. 300 days later,the fat dude called the doctor,and said that he already lost weight,but he has a problem now."What complication?"the doctor queried."I'm right now 2,400 miles away from home."
The docter told a fat dude that if he ran 8 miles everyday,and ran for 300 days straight,he would lose 34 kilograms. 300 days later,the fat dude called the doctor,and said that he already lost weight,but he has a problem now."What complication?"the doctor queried."I'm right now 2,400 miles away from home."
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
A flea or not
许多人在一起喝酒，一个人身上发痒，便搔了一下，忽然摸到一只虱子。怕别人嘲笑自己脏，忙把虱子丢在地下，装作体面的样子道：“我还当它是虱子呢。” 一个客人便拾起虱子细看着，对大家说：“嘿，我还当它不是虱子呢。”
A lot of people were drinking beer together,and one person began to feel itchy all over,and scratched it,and suddenly felt a flea.Because he was afraid that people would mock him for being dirty,hurriedly threw the flea to the ground,and pretended to be "elegant" and said, "I thought it was a flea."Another person picked up the (squashed) flea and examined it,and announced, "Hey,and I thought it wasn't a flea."
A lot of people were drinking beer together,and one person began to feel itchy all over,and scratched it,and suddenly felt a flea.Because he was afraid that people would mock him for being dirty,hurriedly threw the flea to the ground,and pretended to be "elegant" and said, "I thought it was a flea."Another person picked up the (squashed) flea and examined it,and announced, "Hey,and I thought it wasn't a flea."
Monday, February 25, 2008
Carrots for good sight
“医生，我多吃胡萝卜，视力真的会有改善吗？”
“当然，您什么时候看到过兔子有戴眼镜的？”
"Hey Doc,if I eat a lot of carrots,will my vision get better?""Of course,when have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?"
“当然，您什么时候看到过兔子有戴眼镜的？”
"Hey Doc,if I eat a lot of carrots,will my vision get better?""Of course,when have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?"
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Born in the year of ox
县官属鼠，过生日那天，下属为了讨好他，凑了钱送给他一只黄金铸成的老鼠。县官高高兴兴地收了下来，接着说道：“你们知道吗？再过几天就是我太太的生日，她是属牛的！”
The county magistrate's zodiac animal was a rat,and the day he was celebrating his birthday,and because his subordinates wanted to please him,and collected money to help buy him a golden rat.The magistrate happily excepted it,and he said, "Guess what?In a few days it'll be my wife's birthday,and her zodiac animal is an ox!"
The county magistrate's zodiac animal was a rat,and the day he was celebrating his birthday,and because his subordinates wanted to please him,and collected money to help buy him a golden rat.The magistrate happily excepted it,and he said, "Guess what?In a few days it'll be my wife's birthday,and her zodiac animal is an ox!"
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
a little riddle
喜欢在别人睡觉时谈论知识的人---大学教授
A person who likes to talk about knowledge when someone is sleeping -- a university professer...har. har. har. -_-
A person who likes to talk about knowledge when someone is sleeping -- a university professer...har. har. har. -_-
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Master of Stinginess
I heard of some variations of the same joke.
一个吝啬的人，想使自己变得更吝啬，便拜一位被称作“吝啬大师”的人为师傅。求见时，他带去两件礼物：一条纸剪的鱼；一瓶淡水，算是酒。可是老师不在家，师母出来接见。她知道那人是来学本领的，便叫婢女递上一只空杯，说：“请用茶。”又用两手合了一个圆圈模样，说：“请吃饼。”老师回来了，听了妻子款待学生的经过，急得顿了顿脚，说：“你太破费了！”又用手合了半个小圆圈，说：“半个饼就足够了！”
Once there was a very stingy person,he wanted to be even more stingy,so he became a disciple of a man who was nicknamed "Stingy Teacher."When he wanted to see the teacher,he brought two gifts with him: a paper fish;a bottle of water,which counted as wine.But the teacher wasn't at home,so his wife came to the door.She knew that the person came to learn skills,so she called a maid to throw an empty cup over,and said, "Please have some tea."and used her hands to form a circle,and said, "Please have some cake."The teacher came back,and heard of the incident of his wife giving the student a "feast,"and became hopping mad,and said, "You're such a money waster!"and used his hands to form a semicircle,and said, "Half a cake is enough!"
一个吝啬的人，想使自己变得更吝啬，便拜一位被称作“吝啬大师”的人为师傅。求见时，他带去两件礼物：一条纸剪的鱼；一瓶淡水，算是酒。可是老师不在家，师母出来接见。她知道那人是来学本领的，便叫婢女递上一只空杯，说：“请用茶。”又用两手合了一个圆圈模样，说：“请吃饼。”老师回来了，听了妻子款待学生的经过，急得顿了顿脚，说：“你太破费了！”又用手合了半个小圆圈，说：“半个饼就足够了！”
Once there was a very stingy person,he wanted to be even more stingy,so he became a disciple of a man who was nicknamed "Stingy Teacher."When he wanted to see the teacher,he brought two gifts with him: a paper fish;a bottle of water,which counted as wine.But the teacher wasn't at home,so his wife came to the door.She knew that the person came to learn skills,so she called a maid to throw an empty cup over,and said, "Please have some tea."and used her hands to form a circle,and said, "Please have some cake."The teacher came back,and heard of the incident of his wife giving the student a "feast,"and became hopping mad,and said, "You're such a money waster!"and used his hands to form a semicircle,and said, "Half a cake is enough!"
Sunday, February 10, 2008
The legend of Cang Jie
That's interesting. 文 is like "alphabets", and 字 is the compound words. It's easier for me to understand that a-Z is 文, and all the English words are 字. In Chinese, all the radicals and strokes are 文, and the characters are 字 (methinks). It's understood that that some 文 and 字 are the same.
黄帝 时代，国家 疆土 扩大，各地 老百姓 的 来往 不断 增加，其中 包括 互相 做 生意。开始 时 用 在 绳子 上 打结 的 方法 来 记帐：用 每个 结 代表 一件 东西，例如 一头 牛、一头 羊 等等。满 十 就 打 一个 大圈。
这个 方法 很 麻烦，而且 由于 记帐 的 绳子 会 烂掉，被 老鼠 啃坏，就 引起 很多 纠纷，天下 的 事情 又 开始 乱纷纷 起来。
于是 黄帝 命令 一个 叫 苍颉 的 官员 去 制造 文字。苍颉 仔细地 观察 天上 的 太阳、月亮 和 云彩，地上 的 植物、裂缝 和 鸟兽 的 脚印，制造出了 许多 基本的 文字 符号，因为 来源于“花纹”，所以 就 把 这些 基本 符号 称为“文”。他 又根据 这些 基本 符号 的 组合 制造了 许多 复合 的 文字 符号，因为 是 从“文”的 基础 上 产生 的，就 好像 是“文”生下来 的 孩子，所以 就 用 房子 下面 的 一个“子”来 代表 这些 复合 符号，就是“字”。
苍颉造出了文字之后，天下又太平了。
It was the Huang Di era,the country's territory expanded,communication with people from all over the place increased,and among those was doing business with others.they began to use ropes to calucate things; and used every knot to represent something,for example a cow and a sheep etc.If it reached ten then they would tie a big knot.This technique was frustrating,and plus the rope could fall apart,or knawed on by mice,and that lead to a lot of trouble,and the earth, once again, was becoming very chaotic.So Huang Di ordered an official by the name of Cang Jie to create "characters."Cang Jie carefully observed the sun, moon, and clouds,the earth's plants, dirt cracks, and animals' footprints,and created a lot of basic character symbols,because it came from "Hua Wen,"so he called these basic symbols "wen" (文).He also followed the basic characters' assembly to create plenty of compound symbols,because it came from "wen,"it was like a child being born from "wen,"so he used the "zi" (son 子) under "house" to represent these compound symbols,so it became "zi" (字).After Cang Jie created these characters,the earth was once again a peaceful place.
黄帝 时代，国家 疆土 扩大，各地 老百姓 的 来往 不断 增加，其中 包括 互相 做 生意。开始 时 用 在 绳子 上 打结 的 方法 来 记帐：用 每个 结 代表 一件 东西，例如 一头 牛、一头 羊 等等。满 十 就 打 一个 大圈。
这个 方法 很 麻烦，而且 由于 记帐 的 绳子 会 烂掉，被 老鼠 啃坏，就 引起 很多 纠纷，天下 的 事情 又 开始 乱纷纷 起来。
于是 黄帝 命令 一个 叫 苍颉 的 官员 去 制造 文字。苍颉 仔细地 观察 天上 的 太阳、月亮 和 云彩，地上 的 植物、裂缝 和 鸟兽 的 脚印，制造出了 许多 基本的 文字 符号，因为 来源于“花纹”，所以 就 把 这些 基本 符号 称为“文”。他 又根据 这些 基本 符号 的 组合 制造了 许多 复合 的 文字 符号，因为 是 从“文”的 基础 上 产生 的，就 好像 是“文”生下来 的 孩子，所以 就 用 房子 下面 的 一个“子”来 代表 这些 复合 符号，就是“字”。
苍颉造出了文字之后，天下又太平了。
It was the Huang Di era,the country's territory expanded,communication with people from all over the place increased,and among those was doing business with others.they began to use ropes to calucate things; and used every knot to represent something,for example a cow and a sheep etc.If it reached ten then they would tie a big knot.This technique was frustrating,and plus the rope could fall apart,or knawed on by mice,and that lead to a lot of trouble,and the earth, once again, was becoming very chaotic.So Huang Di ordered an official by the name of Cang Jie to create "characters."Cang Jie carefully observed the sun, moon, and clouds,the earth's plants, dirt cracks, and animals' footprints,and created a lot of basic character symbols,because it came from "Hua Wen,"so he called these basic symbols "wen" (文).He also followed the basic characters' assembly to create plenty of compound symbols,because it came from "wen,"it was like a child being born from "wen,"so he used the "zi" (son 子) under "house" to represent these compound symbols,so it became "zi" (字).After Cang Jie created these characters,the earth was once again a peaceful place.
Good doctors
What is 外科医生? Indy at first thought it was "foreign surgeon", and that cracked me up. I know that there's something called "internal medicine", but didn't know there's something called "external medicine". So when "internal medicine" was translated as 内科, and the practioners were translated as 内科医生; so there must be something opposite to 内科医生, hence 外科医生. Could this be right? Please enlighten me.
三个外科医生争夸自己的医术。第一个说：“我给一个男人接上了胳膊，他现在是全国闻名的棒球手。”第二个说：“我给一个人接好腿，他现在是世界著名的长跑运动员。”“你们的都不算什么奇迹。”第三个说，“我为一个人接上了笑容，他现在已经是国会议员了。
Three surgeons were bragging about their medical skills.The first one said, "I helped a man reattach his arm,and right now he's a famous baseball player."The second one said, "I reattached a person's leg,he's currently a famous sprinter.""Your feats aren't considered that good."The third one scoffed,"I helped give a person a smile,and right now he's a Congressman."
三个外科医生争夸自己的医术。第一个说：“我给一个男人接上了胳膊，他现在是全国闻名的棒球手。”第二个说：“我给一个人接好腿，他现在是世界著名的长跑运动员。”“你们的都不算什么奇迹。”第三个说，“我为一个人接上了笑容，他现在已经是国会议员了。
Three surgeons were bragging about their medical skills.The first one said, "I helped a man reattach his arm,and right now he's a famous baseball player."The second one said, "I reattached a person's leg,he's currently a famous sprinter.""Your feats aren't considered that good."The third one scoffed,"I helped give a person a smile,and right now he's a Congressman."
It's not my fault
有个医术很差的大夫，从来没有治愈过一个病人，他的朋友指责他：“难道你不知道怎样治病吗？”“你错了，我的朋友。”这位医师回答道，“我非常了解我的技术，我完全按照医学教科书治疗病人，该受指责的人不是我而是病人，因为他们从来不按照我的书来发病。”
There was a doctor that had very horrible medical skills,and could never heal a sick person,his friend accused him, "So you're saying that you don't even know how to cure a disease?""You're wrong,my Dear Friend."The doctor replied,"I understand my techniques very well,and I follow the medical book completely,the ones who should be accused is not me but the patients,because they never follow my book to get sick."
There was a doctor that had very horrible medical skills,and could never heal a sick person,his friend accused him, "So you're saying that you don't even know how to cure a disease?""You're wrong,my Dear Friend."The doctor replied,"I understand my techniques very well,and I follow the medical book completely,the ones who should be accused is not me but the patients,because they never follow my book to get sick."
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
There is no bus driver
双层巴士司机嫌醉汉话多，便请他到上层找个座位坐下。不一会，醉汉就下来了。问其原因，醉汉说：“上面司机不在，不安全。”
The bus driver of a doubledeck bus thought that the drunkard talked too much,and told him to go to the upper deck and sit down.A moment after,the drunkard came back down.When asked the reason why,the drunkard said, "There's no driver on the upperdeck,it's not safe."
The bus driver of a doubledeck bus thought that the drunkard talked too much,and told him to go to the upper deck and sit down.A moment after,the drunkard came back down.When asked the reason why,the drunkard said, "There's no driver on the upperdeck,it's not safe."
Monday, February 4, 2008
It's an echo!
Apparently Indigo got a big kick out of this one.
牙医检查病人的口腔：你的牙上有个大洞!有个大洞。病人：是有个洞，可你也不用说两遍呀。牙医：我只说了一遍。那是回音。
The dentist was examining a patient's cavity and exclaimed, "There's a ginormous black hole on one of your teeth! ZOMG!"A BLACK HOLE!!! ZOMG!"The patient replied, "There is a hole,but you don't need to say it twice.The dentist said, "I only said it once.That was an echo."
牙医检查病人的口腔：你的牙上有个大洞!有个大洞。病人：是有个洞，可你也不用说两遍呀。牙医：我只说了一遍。那是回音。
The dentist was examining a patient's cavity and exclaimed, "There's a ginormous black hole on one of your teeth! ZOMG!"A BLACK HOLE!!! ZOMG!"The patient replied, "There is a hole,but you don't need to say it twice.The dentist said, "I only said it once.That was an echo."
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Lost rope
有个人因偷东西而被逮捕示众，熟人问：“你犯了什么罪？”他说：“真晦气！昨天我在街上走过，见路边有条绳子，觉得丢了可惜，便拾起来。哪知就犯了罪！”熟人又问：“难道绳子一点也没系着什么吗？”他才尴尬地说：“哪知绳子那一头还牵着一头牛呢！”
A person was caught stealing and was being paraded around the streets,a friend asked, "What crime did you commit?"He said, "So unfortunate!Yesterday I was walking on the street,and saw some rope on the side of the road,and felt bad for it,so I took it.I didn't know that was a crime!"The friend asked again, "Was the rope attached to anything?""The rope was attached to a bull!" the person confessed, embarassed.
A person was caught stealing and was being paraded around the streets,a friend asked, "What crime did you commit?"He said, "So unfortunate!Yesterday I was walking on the street,and saw some rope on the side of the road,and felt bad for it,so I took it.I didn't know that was a crime!"The friend asked again, "Was the rope attached to anything?""The rope was attached to a bull!" the person confessed, embarassed.
Pain Killer
放学前，老师把学生叫到办公室，拿出一粒止痛片说：“你把它吃下去吧。”学生不解地说：“我身上哪儿也不疼呀！”“过会儿就疼了。我已经把你考试不及格的消息告诉你爸爸了。”
Before school was over,the teacher called a student over to his office,and took out a pain killer and said, "You should take this."The student said in confusion, "But I don't hurt anywhere!""It'll hurt later.I already told your father that you failed the test."
Before school was over,the teacher called a student over to his office,and took out a pain killer and said, "You should take this."The student said in confusion, "But I don't hurt anywhere!""It'll hurt later.I already told your father that you failed the test."
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